the boys are back in town.

yesterday i took a time machine back to 1991. it was a bumpy ride.

when i arrived, i was 11 and starting to fully realize the full potential of my relationship with boys. i was awkward with my shoulder length bob haircut that i insisted had to be curled under in a u-shape at all times. my bangs were cut way too perfectly across my forehead and matched the curl of my bob. my vocabulary didn't yet include the term "style" and i had braces with colored rubber bands to complement all my outfits. i was a true work of art.

you are probably pretty jealous at this point - both because you've just found out about my secret time machine and because you wish you were nearly as cool-looking as i was at age 11.

in yesterday's case, i was walking around walmart when i was abruptly teleported back to '91 due to "step by step" by the (in)famous new kids on the block being played over the loud speaker. i knew it must be 1991 since i hadn't heard that song since then and no one would dare play it by choice these days. immediately i looked down and saw myself - an 11 year old girl in my new kids on the block sweater, with my matching new kids on the block shoelaces, earrings, and purse.

oh, gosh, its happening again.

hello, 1991. i thought i had left you far behind. there are many years that i wouldn't mind revisiting. 1991 isn't one of them.

i thought i had it all figured out then. my birthday parties were themed "nkotb". i had the trading cards, the stencils, the card game, the giant buttons that no one could actually fit on their clothing because they were the size of your head. why did they make those giant buttons anyway? did a sharp needle the size of a writing pen tacked to the back of them really make that much sense for teenagers?

i had blankets, shoelaces, socks, the sweater with all their faces knitted together in a colorful array of fibers. i even had a pillowcase with joe's face plastered on it to catch my teenage drool at night.

best (i.e. lamest) of all, i had the dolls. or action figures. whatever they chose to call them to protect their masculinity. joe dated barbie almost every night, and most certainly on the weekends.

i was a megafan.

i had all the tapes, knew all the words, knew all the dances. i had the sway together in perfect timing during the "oh oh oh oh oh" part of "hangin' tough". like the song says, i could "get on the floor and do the new kids dance".

when i arrived back in 2008, i found myself singing along, humming the parts that have grown fuzzy from the years of denial. i realized i no longer know the dances, the buttons have been put away for fear of stabbing someone in the eye, the card game is most likely missing important pieces. the tapes are packed away in some box in the attic at my childhood home and the mice have probably chewed the heads off my dolls. its like a time capsule waiting to be opened by some (un)lucky stranger in the future.

all this is a round about way to warn you the new kids are back in town. which makes them not new at all - but that is besides the point. they are coming to an arena near you in 2008. i guarantee an ambulance will be standing by.

this time around, i'll leave my dancing shoes at home. but maybe i'll practice the "hangin' tough" sway just in case i'm put on the spot.

the pickup artist strikes again - today's casting notices.

my box is flooded with casting notices. i'm in a giving mood, so i'm passing the best ones on to you within the next week or so, so check back daily.

you'll notice i included vh1's "the pickup artist" in today's casting notice. i do this mostly because i think its hilariously lame. and probably to prove some strange point of today's crappy tv and start a pondering on how in the world this show got a second season.

forgive me, all you "pickup" fans, but i just find him and the concept extremely "tool"ish, to bring back a word from 1998.

i mean seriously girls, the guy's name is "mystery". he's the type of guy that i conscientiously avoid when i go out. the kind of guy i give the reject line to when he asks for my phone number - just so he thinks i'm being nice but i'll never really have to see or talk to him again. (if you've never heard of the reject line, google it, very handy).

why? first, his attire is ridiculous. its beyond confidence, its just plain lack of reality. i might stare at him in a bar, but not because he's got a great pickup line or is smooth with the ladies - but because i'm trying to figure out which costume shop he got that flamboyantly tall hat from. seriously? you've got to be joking.

second, the long hair. no, not sexy tousled bed hair, but long, vampire, silky smooth girly hair. no, no, no.

third, the voice. now i know he can't help it and i have no problem with his voice in a normal world. just not as "the pickup artist".

fourth (as if i need a fourth). i don't want to hear the same words out of your mouth that you've said to the last ten girls you tried to get to go home with you. you might fool us in the bar, but once that fades and you run out of script.........its like a trainwreck. we might stick around for a bit in awe of the mess, but when its all done, we'll just keep on down the road.

anyway, i'm sure he's a great guy, and i don't mean to rip on him (just in case he's reading), but seriously..............is he the best you could get, VH1?

girls, watch out. a "mystery" pick up artist clone is coming to a city near you. you never know when they will strike. but you can most certainly spot them by their giant furry hats.






__________________________________

VH1’s “THE PICK UP ARTIST” is back... and so is Mystery

We are now casting guys to be on season 2

*ARE YOU A QUIRKY BUT LIKEABLE GUY WHO HAS TROUBLE PICKING UP WOMEN?
* WOULD YOU BE CLASSIFIED MORE AS A “GEEK” THAN A “STUD” when it comes to dating women?
*WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY VIDEO GAMES (GUITAR HERO) THAN GO OUT ON A DATE???

We're looking for likeable and quirky guys who are intellectual, but a bit socially stunted when it comes to women. You can be confident in other areas of your life, just not when it comes to figuring out women!

Seeking guys, 21+ who fit the following:
1) You are more geek than stud
2) You are shy or akward when interacting with beautiful women
3) You manage to say all the wrong things to women
4) You are intellectually gifted, but socially stuntded
5) You have no clue what women want (don't worry, no guy does!)

This is the reality show of a lifetime to help you gain self-confidence with the opposite sex.



ADDITIONAL OPEN AUDITION:

Saturday, April 12th
1pm - 4pm
7038 W. Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90028

This is a great opportunity for members in the Los Angeles area to meet the Casting Director’s and some of last season’s cast members from the show!

writer's strike OVER! auditions galore! NASHVILLE STAR CASTING!

hey all you peeps itchin to get to some auditions! the writer's strike is over and there are auditions galore! i just received a email full of opportunities and i'll be sharing those over the course of the next few blogs. here's the first.....

NASHVILLE STAR is looking for the country stars of tomorrow!
Open Casting Call in the following cities:
Los Angeles, CA
March 8th - Open Call
10am - 6pm

Burbank Marriott Hotel and Convention Center
2500 Hollywood Way
Burbank, CA 91505

Washington D.C.
March 14th Open Call
10am - 6pm

The Westin Grand
2350 M Street N.W.
Washington, DC 20037

Austin, TX
March 18th Open Call 10am - 6pm
March 19th Call Backs
(Venue TBD)

Nashville, TN
March 21st Open Call 10am - 6pm
March 22nd Call Backs
(Venue TBD)

How To Apply:

Song list and details can be found at www.NashvilleStarCasting.com

stay tuned for more........

sara

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

we've issued a press release....see the full details by clicking below.

Press Release - Music Industry News Network

Press Release - Newswire Today

we're please to offer 10% all services in january to celebrate the re-launch. just mention this blog!

-sara

on top of the spandex, all covered with cheese.

it's back. the lights, the obstacles, the spandex, the cheese..........the hulk. that's right ladies and gentlemen, american gladiators is making a comeback. i guess nbc thought that this decade needed its fair share. seriously, are the 2000's really THAT jealous of the 90's?

my husband is most partial to "wolf", a wild-haired gladiator that looks like he needs a good soap scrubbin'. personally, i don't have a favorite, but that tribal guy freaks the crap out of me.

with that said, the show could learn quite a bit from ninja warrior (shown on G4). a lot more action and a lot less talking. i don't need to know how it felt to just take a 20 foot plunge in the water, nor do i need to know how you are feeling about an upcoming challenge. we watch because we want to see action. we want to see somebody get slammed to the ground. we want to see the gladiators in all their cheesy glory. we don't want to see someone get hurt, but we don't mind if they come close. and if they do, we want to see it again.

do racing fans watch Nascar for 300 boring laps of smooth driving? don't kid yourself, they watch for the crashes.

spandex and cheese. mmm mmmm good.

and i'm off.......

just a short note to wish all of you a merry christmas! i'm off to spend six days with the in-laws. if i survive, i'll post when i get back. ;-) au revoir!

sara

p.s. check out the brand spankin' new website at HarshMedia.com.

what you've been missing.

after an extended vacation, i'm back and ready to blog again. i thought i'd start out by giving you what you've missed over the past few weeks.

i've always questioned those classifieds ads that read "looking for women to pose for artistic photos" for like $50. wow. why not just say "looking for women to get naked for free and lay on my basement floor at my mom's house (because i still live there) so i can take pictures for personal use." just say no, ladies.

these listings do NOT contain the above.

1. PCM Media Group, Inc is searching for a motived, self starter to court businesses and potential advertisers with spot advertising and sponsorship opportunities.
Advertiser will sell spot time within "Source One TV" a national Christian Music News Program. (website - www.SourceOneTV.com)
Shows will utilize news, music, and interviews to communicate the Message of Christ.
For more info, please contact Paul at 314.754.8825.

2. I need an assistant a few days a week $10 an hour let me know if your interested! You must have your own car. Your job would mostly be returning clothes to stores but would also including shopping and on set styling assist. No experience needed just a love of fashion and a good grasp on Nashville shops. Please email me with your myspace profile so I can learn a little about you!job-488854156@craigslist.org

3. Active Rock 102.9 The Buzz/Nashville is looking for its next Program Director. Applicants should have experience in Rock and/or Alternative as a Program Director or as a Music Director with a good track record, be able to lead a hungry staff, pull an airshift, be a street demon, know how to integrate a syndicated morning show, have experience with MusicMaster, be promotionally savvy, have some (or a lot) of web experience, and have a killer instinct. The Buzz is independently owned with no corporate layers -- it's radio the way it used to be. Nashville is quickly becoming the music capital of the U.S. and the Buzz is the only station in Nashville playing New Rock. This is a great opportunity for the right individual ready for the next challenge. Email aircheck and resume to dwarfield@cromwellradio.com

more to follow......

-sara